PRACTICE BASED TREATMENT
Key Principle: Exposure but make it very small
In my experience, exposure does not only begin with the trauma processing itself, but much earlier: with the (destructive) avoidance strategies that precede it.

Examples: 
Do you find it difficult to eat? Then start by exposing yourself to that behavior, use a bit of CBT. 
Write down, draw, or verbalize what resonates with you: 
"What exactly is happening? What are you hearing inside yourself that's preventing you from eating? What's the worst that can happen? What are you afraid of?" Behind this fear often lies a still-unconscious reason, a key to an (still) unconscious memory. 

Do you self-harm? Then examine what precedes this act. 
Write down or visualize: 
"What do you feel? What do you hear in your head just before you hurt yourself?" 
This, too, contains a subconscious clue.

Do you avoid the bathroom, the shower, or going to the toilet?
Ask yourself: 
"What's happening and what do you hear in your head as you walk there? What's the worst that could happen? What are you afraid of?" 
This, too, points to a hidden fear, a clue.

Anything that makes your mind say, "I can't do this," could point to a deep-seated fear and deserves careful examination. This process is difficult, because every little piece of information surrounding the trauma can unconsciously trigger associations and fear. And that's often where the avoidance lies. However, gathering as much information as possible about these hidden feelings and fears holds the key to progress.

The Big Process: From all those Keys to underlying Core Trauma
With the information gathered, the "keys," you can take the next step: connecting with the corresponding dissociative part. This means inviting that part to talk about what happened and to feel the trauma, while you, as an inquisitive and caring adult, remain present. Ideally, a technique like ImRs (Imaginal Rescripting) can be applied here, in which the part is symbolically removed from the traumatic situation and you, as an adult, confront the perpetrator in the image. If the image isn't yet clear or deviates too much from how the trauma may have actually happened, Imaginal Exposure (IE), in which you gently relive the image without directly intervening, can help to make it more complete, so that Rescripting or, for example, EMDR is more effective afterward. In my own experience, it helped to connect with younger parts through symbols, such as a stuffed animal that represented the part I was comforting as if it were a younger version of myself. Such an external self-co-regulation tool promoted the integration of the memory as part of myself. If you can manage it at some point, I recommend drawing a snapshot from memory. With all the memories side by side, this will eventually create a kind of illustrated integrative timeline, as known from NET (Narrative Exposure Treatment).

⚠️ Be aware: Trauma processing is only effective if you can remain clear-headed enough to stand BESIDE the trauma. If you find yourself repeatedly sinking into flashbacks, this means you first need to gather more context around your avoidance and everything that's unconsciously stored.

A judgment-free unfolding process 
This means that "recovered memories" are not something controversial, but a natural consequence of peeling back the layers, similar to what is known from EMDR for complex trauma (Poli et al., 2023; Sezis, 2023). The more you expose mild traumatic charge, the more space is created for processing deeper fears. This doesn't mean that you (or your client) deliberately exaggerate your story, or that external information "shapes" the trauma. This is about the dissociative amnesia that, through acknowledgment and recognition, increasingly gains space to integrate the full trauma, layer by layer. Treatment isn't about finding the truth, but about discovering what you're truly afraid of. Of course, influencing memory is a real risk. But the targeted collection of information about your own experiences, focusing on your emotional experience and bodily sensations, is actually illuminating. You are not a detective, and the therapist is not a judge. Treatment isn't about the exact details, like the color of your clothes in your memory. It's about recognizing what's so disruptive that you instinctively avoid it, often couched in thoughts like, "I'm not sure."

Explanation of why it worked for me (opinions may differ on this!): 
Explanation through PTSD-model 
In my view, dissociative identity disorder (DID) can be understood as a young, extreme form of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD often develops when someone experiences an event that is too overwhelming to process all at once. Because the brain prefers to avoid this intense experience, the trauma remains unconscious, but the body and mind force processing through intrusions and reliving. The person then tries to avoid these painful memories as quickly as possible, thus perpetuating the mechanism until treatment breaks the cycle (Foa & Kozak).

DID as a juvinile PTSD 
With DID, this overwhelming experience takes place in a very young child's brain, which is not yet capable of processing trauma. A child automatically seeks comfort, both internally and externally, but when that comfort is unavailable, consciousness splits. This dissociation protects the child from the overload and failure of its growing physical and psychological systems (DID is me, 2023). Avoiding the trauma therefore occurs at an unconscious, neurological level to enable survival. Because children are creative and yet lack a fully developed personality, various split-off parts emerge, but in essence, it is the same survival mechanism.

Recognize dissociative amenisia as a necessary protective mechanism, not avoidance.
Recognizing these dissociative components as real and functional is crucial for trauma processing. Reducing dissociative amnesia to a "delusional" coping strategy fails to appreciate the complexity and neurological foundation of dissociation. In conditioned DID, amnesia barriers can even result from administered substances such as drugs and electroshock, which exacerbate the memory loss. This explains the extreme memory loss that cannot simply be traced back to avoidance.

Preconditions and safety
With these insights, I managed to largely process the trauma of my DID -for which I was initially given a prognosis of eight years of treatment- at home within two years. Regarding my final memories and my broken trust in mental health services, I sought help from a psychologist again. ⚠️ Important: I do NOT recommend this approach without a supportive social network or professional guidance. The loneliness and isolation this process can cause are of unspeakable depth, and I do not wish this experience on anyone. Your relationships can also suffer as a result.